Weary from life,
I trudged up to Jacobs well.
Pitcher in my hands,
Earnest hope in heart.
I hoped to draw enough water today.
Enough human strength to fight all my battles.
Enough inspiration from the marriage seminar to keep my home together.
Enough human compliments to affirm my being special.
Enough money to reignite the waning attention the world was giving me.
Enough fame to keep me in the spotlight thus keeping suicidal thoughts away.
Enough confidence from books in order to stand against criticism directed towards me.
On reaching the well,
I let down the pitcher.
The pitcher was empty when brought up.
The search for money had brought more misery than expected.
My friends and Beloved had no answers for me today.
Dr Phil, Oprah and Richard Templar prescriptions for living right had failed.
The sight of my husband in the morning which brought strength and love now repulses me.
The drugs and weed had failed to take me into heaven once more.
The cloud nine I anticipated to reach before the sex, was unreachable even with 2 hours spent.
The army escorts I had in employ were powerless against my spiritual foes.
Worse still, my herbalist had reached a wall he could not scale.
So there i was in dispair.
Putting my pitcher back into its pouch,
Getting ready to go and kill myself.
For nothing gave me the hope to continue.
Then I saw a man,
Coming from Jerusalem towards the well.
Perhaps He wanted to draw from the well like me.
*Sir, the well is empty today*
I said in a disheartening tone.
Hoping to save Him from undertaking a fruitless exercise.
Into my eyes He looked.
And with a smile,
Acknowledged my existence.
Here was a Jew acknowledging me.
A man who God loved, speaking to a man who God hated for his sins.
A race who God had specifically commanded never to have dealings with my race, yet He stands here speaking to me.
I had seen some of them before.
They called themselves.
Never pausing for once to say hello to me.
Never pausing to offer help to me or at least pray for me.
A tag of sinner and unworthy, they willingly placed on me.
Here was one who was different.
We got talking.
He told me His name is Jesus.
Told me that the waters from Jacobs well, though sweet, had disappointed much people.
Told me that its dryness had Instigated a deep depression within its visitors that led to their untimely deaths.
*Are you serious??*
*So I am not the only one who has felt this pain before?*
These two questions I asked.
Hoping to elicit common feelings of Dispair.
And get on my way home.
*Yes my friend*
Then He offered me a new well to draw from.
A well within which true peace can be found.
Wherein joy would be found.
A well overflowing with living waters He called it.
Told me that I would need no help from friends and family when I tasted of its waters.
Told me I would need no cravings for the intoxicating substances when I tasted its sweetness.
Told me victory over all things, physical and spiritual was assured if I drew from the well.
*Oga anyi, Please give me this water*
This plea I echoed loud.
For I was at my wits and knowledge end.
And had absolutely nothing to lose.
Of the well of life Jesus gave me.
In gushes, joy flooded my soul.
In stillness, my raging seas of trouble was calmed.
A new man I became.
A greater woman I became.
The need to exceed peoples expectations from me, ceased.
In its place grows the desire to know God better and acknowledge His will only.
The need to worry about the future stopped as I know Him better.
In its place grows a deep seated trust and faith in Him.
The uncertainty about life after death stopped.
In its place grows a yearning for a Home on High with my God.