A TRIP DOWN UNIBEN LANE

*Wake up, you  brutes in a state of nature*
These words resounded all through Hall 3.

A morning wake up call always echoed by a philosophy department boy who stayed in block B.

A tradition which stopped when the big broses of Block F paid him a visit.
For with their ever reddened eyes, which spoke of the loud volumes of mariguana they smoked,
Their requests could never be denied by anyone.

From Block A, Room 408,
The morning traditions began.

Felix Duru and Star, the two engineers started their morning prayers,
A ritual which Engineer hated.
For it always roused him out of his deep sleep.

Timi, the loverboy, did not wake up on time too.

Poor bloke had spent the night in the love gutters of Hall 2 car park,

All the while whispering, cuddling and never quite reaching the promise land.

For he never knew his status as Mugu 3.

A pleasant Mugu who the girl used to always replenish her stock of Freshbite Ice cream and Mama Blessed meals.

Jude was already awake.

The lanky education dude who wanted to visit Faculty orchard in a bid to jacking for the morning ENL 121.

Poor old bashorun awoke amidst the rambles going on outside.

For the previous night class had left him exhausted and highly annoyed.

Who could blame me?

Apparently my eyes had seen what could not be unseen,

For two students around faculty of Agric had decided to disturb the people reading with their insanely loud lovemaking sounds.

Apparently, anybody would be annoyed with the reality that after jacking like mad, the same score you would get, could be easily bought with Five thousand naira and a bottle of Andre.

Apparently, I had to visit Ekosodin, the Iraqi zone, that day to retrieve my handout from Oghogho the beautiful light skinned angel who never returned any material borrowed to her.

With groggy steps we all went down the stairway to fetch water.

All the while laughing at those boys who decided to take their bath in the full glare of everyone around.

For the bathrooms were always in a terrible state with unsavory smells emitting from the toilets within them.

The Voyeurs of Block B were already at their stand.

Those damned boys who took pleasure in spying on Hall 2 girls bathing around 5am to 6am.

The fighting block D had started their madness this early morning.

Apparently a 100 level guy had eaten the beans prepared by his 300 level roommate.
And the aggrieved party was hell bent on teaching *this Jambite* a lesson of his life.

To the lecture halls, we all dispersed after being dressed.

Eating bread and beans at Blessed foods at June 12.

At the Law faculty,
We all gawked at the impeccable white and black wearing law students,

Hating them with our mouths, while inwardly envying their every move.

At the Twin LTs,
We all shut our eardrums.

God knows that students became shouting savages every time they entered those buildings.

Into Faculty, I entered.

Making pleasantries with Akpos Clarke, Hilary and Shalom while we entered B1 in anticipation for Reverend Sisters HIS 110 course.

Entering the class,
The shouting matches began.

*Neggg. Have you called the lecturer*

These words being shouted by Goldmedal to Nwadinobi the class rep.

*I told you he is lazy. We should have chosen either Activist or Bola*

Adekunle added
While escaping a blow aimed at his head by the class oppressor, GoldenVic.

*Shut up there Ogbe*
Nwadinobi retorted.

All the while flashing a perfect smile towards Amina, Peace and Maro.

Who could blame him?

Apparently, when the cards are played right, class reps could make the girls fall in love.

Apparently Neg's relationship with Lady Faith was in shambles and the good Old Neg came out today
Like a true fisherman,
Looking for a new fish to catch.

Apparently He was a little short on cash and class reps, could get some cash gifts from fellow classmates.
A fact which explained why Neg was being really nice to Ibori and Peace that day.

Within twenty minutes,
The lecturer arrived.

An impromptu test, we were all to take.

Like a class of children just informed of the presence of immunization officials around to administer injections to them,
Sounds of wailing erupted.

From the 'fine fine gehs' clique
To the 'football analysts' clique.

From the 'mamas and just married' clique.
To the 'tender looking fresh out of secondary school' clique
Uncertainty  arose.

In the midst of the chaos, some faces remained impassive.

The 'scholars' people called them.
Chief amongst which a short glasses wearing beauty called Stephanie.

Within minutes,
Boys had perfected their formation.

The pattern would be 4-3-2-1 today.

Sir Hilary would be the striker feeding the back with information.

Neg and Clarke would be the advanced midfielders wearing 8 and 10.
Both ready to pass the paper *expo* backwards to the rest.

Odimayo, Lesky and Victor were the central and defensive midfielders.
They would sift the information then cross check it with Kunles work.

For *the boy know book small* had been the adjudgment of the team coach Ibori.

The defenders comprised of Peace, Ibori, Maro and Marquino.
Every ready defenders who never missed any paper.

Within an hour, the test was completed

More to come in later episodes.
#BASHORUN

okonta kosi