I welcome you back my audience as continue my jolly good account.

The next set of ministers were the editorial group.
Two of whom came on stage and the whole audience tensed. 

All except the two standing men near the pastors seats.
Protocol officers,
I would later know them to be.

I called them.
For they kept standing like angry debt collectors hell bent on collecting their monies.

The two editors began a recital.
Uttering poetic lines that ended in rhythmic sounds
Ultimately informing us of a coming beautiful 'something' magazine launch.
Pardon my inept forgetfulness of that word.
For at that moment, I was distracted by another scene.
"Who did it"
Three ladies were shouting at the side gate of the auditorium.

Perhaps someone had stolen their jewelry or something.
The boys sitting next to them shouted back.

Thrice the ladies chanted the same question.
Thrice the boys replied "Jesus".

Then ended their shouts with
"Oh my God"

They were the publicity department.
And this was just a mini display of their uniquely crazy routines.

To the altar came the choir group.
The men donned matching white shirts on black trousers.
The ladies wore the same outfit with red berets covering their hair.
In elegant strides, they marched to the center stage.
Arranging themselves in six lines with six people in each.

"RCF praise the Lord. Yeeaarrrhhhh"


"Tell your neighbor to speak into the atmosphere"

On and on, he sang
Deeper and deeper, the melodious voices connected with my spirit.

To the altar, I wished to run to.
For I was truly in a sinful state.

Apparently one evening spent at June 12 had exposed my eyes to different sights that could make the Pope renounce his celibacy .
For 100 level girls wore the most revealing outfits.
Obviously reveling in freedom away from confines of their parents.

I had another reason for wishing to meet Jesus too.
Apparently, I was broke and needed papa to send more money to my account.
For I had exhausted my monies on playing Playstation 2 at June 12.

Being a good Father Dasuki,
I had also kept on buying food for ladies at mama Blessed and ice cream at Freshbite.

Not to stretch the mat beyond the floor,
Their ministration was epic.

At their exit,
The pastor stood up and climbed the podium.
Escorted by a protocol officer who donned a serious face.

The pastor was smartly dressed.
A grey coloured suit and a black tie that screamed exquisite. 
Not like the rough boys standing behind, who were decked in Blue lab coats.

They were the organizing department.
A department of men who, I knew, ate 'akpu' day and night.
For their strength was like Samsom's.
Being able to lift thirty chairs on each shoulder.
All the while saying hello to the beautiful ladies of the welfare department. 

"Brethren let us rise to our feet"
The pastor said.
All the while issuing a string of prayers in tongues.

This baffled my small mind.
For I thought tongues were meant to only cast out demons.

Within ten minutes, he finished prayers and told us to sit.

'A very good bad guy'
This was his sermon that day.
And his preaching was on point.

Midway through the sermon,
The Usher came to my line.

He said while pointing at me

"Please wake up that guy next to you"
He added.
While pointing at the person seated next to me.

Children of God.
The fellow was sound asleep.
A little saliva had formed at the corners of his mouth.
And he was certainly not happy with me when woken by my gentle tap.

Within three seconds however,
He had comported himself.
For a fair skinned lady was making her way towards the seat next to his.

Obviously he was a 'chairman' in Ekosodin.
As they were the set of people who literally came to church to 'drag babe with baba God
The above words, I heard while trying to preach to one of them in later years.

The pastor's sermon was filled with Rhema and power that day.
For about twenty people came forward to give their lives to Christ.
Afterwards being led outside by the follow-up leader (Rest in peace Felicitas Oyegbeda).

Within thirty minutes, the offering was taken.
To the stage came the Aesthetics director and Welfare mama to lead the family song.

The time had come.

"Priceless Jewels"
The welfare mama shouted in a sonorous voice.

"Jesus is our worth"
All sisters chorused back

"Indispensable brothers"
The Aesthetics director shouted in a deep voice.

"Jesus is our mentor" 
 These words, the men shouted back.
While freshers like me, mouthed gibberish words.

"Please rise and hold your neighbors hands"
(We all stretched and grabbed our neighbors hands that moment)

"Look into his or her eyes and say Neighbor"
(The audience stared into their neighbors eyes and scattered sounds of 'neighbor' were heard)

"Look at him or her again and say Neighbor, I love you too much"
(We all chorused his words)

"We are a royal family..."
He started to sing as he moved to his left side.

We all followed his motion and moved to the left side too.
For there was a choir member who directed us with hand signals.

Slowly, the tempo of the song built up.
Transitioning into a faster tempo that brought about increased rhythmic movements.

"...As we share our cares and gains, As one big family"
At this point, we broke the interlocked hands and began a clapping and bizarre hand gesture.
Swinging our index fingers in a roller-coaster motion over each other.
And ending the routine with  hands depicting the number '1' held up high.

Within two minutes we finished and shared the grace.

The choir screamed immediately after the grace was said.

"We worship, we reign and we excel"
These words the audience screamed back.

The choir shouted again. 

Perhaps they wanted more screaming.
So I screamed "We worship, we"

The shouts of "WE ARE DIFFERENT" rented the air and drowned my voice.

The choir shouted for the last time.

"We are Oneeee"
These words the audience screamed back with a tone of finality.
Their hands upraised in  depiction of the number '1'.

This is my first visit to the university fellowship.
Not my last I must add.
For more episodes will follow this.

okonta kosi