PRIMARY SCHOOL CHRONICLES

(#Bashorun childhood tales)

This is a merry tale of my primary 2 holiday.
And i am its humble tale bearer.
The day started like any other school day.
With mummy banging our door in a call to prayer around 5:30am.
Anger flared in my heart at that moment.
For i was in a party with different foods served in the dream.
And poor Kosi was just about the next person that the stewards were going to serve.
More still,
My little mind could never know that Mummy and daddy had to go to work even though I was on holiday.
With a groggy murmur in my lips,
I went into the parlor.
The devotion lasted 40 minutes
Thirty nine minutes of which I merrily slept away on my knees .
Who could blame me?
Apparently that was the most brilliant way to feign prayers even though you were sleeping.
Apparently, its practice helped brother Nnamdi catch up on his lost sleep,
For he used about three hours of the previous night on MTN Extra cool, whispering sweet nothings into the ears of aunty Joke his girlfriend.
Alas!!
Today was the day I was caught.
For the sleep was too sweet thus leaving me in that same position ten minutes after the devotion.
Being woken with a gentle tap on the back,
Mama nudged me towards the kitchen.
Time had come to wash and sweep the whole house.
To the farthest ends of the balcony, my sweeping reached.
All the while joy filled my heart.
For baddo and baddest were coming over to join my bahd self to make the day glorious.
Olumide Bankole was my baddo.
Adio Kehinde was the baddest.
And the trio of us kids could and would wreck the peaceful sanctity of heaven if given the opportunity to.
Within an hour, my full duties were discharged
Amidst gleeful jumping, my  breakfast of bread, fried eggs and tea was wolfed down.
*Ntoo rr. You will go to school today bem be*
*Your teacher will flog you in school today bem be*
This taunting song I kept singing to Chiedu over breakfast.
A slap on the ears i received for my actions.
For He had indeed failed to complete his English homework and would be caned for it by Mr Yebuoah, his teacher.
Another hour went by and I was home alone with daddy.
Raced over to the parlor,
Settles on the couch while nestling my feet on the stool.
Cassette player and TV remote in my hand,
The time had come.
Titanic.
Isakaba Part 2
Toofan
Who am I (by Jackie Chan)
State of Emergency (by JT Tom West)
Owo Blow  (by Ogogo)

These six films I wanted to watch that given day.
Titanic was the first film I slotted into the player,
Reclining on the sofa while munching speedy biscuit bought from iya Ruka.
Within ten minutes, disaster struck.
NEPA took the light.
The damned NEPA official in their office had woken up from slumber and done his real job.
Jesuu!!!
*Ko ni da fun yin o eyin omo Esu yi*
*It would not be better for you people, you children of the devil*
These curses I muttered while switching off the settee.
All the while praying and bargaining with God in my heart.
*If you bring this light back, I will return mommy's ten naira I took.*
*If you don't return this light I will not go to church to see you on Sunday*.
*I will be a good child like Samuel if you bring this light*.
*If you bring this light, I will buy chocolate and give to the pastor your servant*
*I will*
The light returned immediately.
Evidently God loved Pastor Oladoye very much and wanted me to buy chocolate for him.
With great speed I rushed and switched on the TV.
While the credits read,
Mummy Olumide brought him over
While Adio's mummy cancelled at the last minute citing a minor flu.
Later did we know that Taiye had destroyed his dad's favorite cup and was grounded at home for it.
Within minutes bahd and baddo were engrossed in the movie.
Two little kids who loved the film Titanic for the tap dances and could not understand why Jack did not climb the raft with Rose to prevent his death.
NEPA took light again in the middle of Isakaba.
This time, the disappointment was mitigated.
For my bestie was around and he had brought his bottle cork team with him.
We set up the field and the match started with a radio cassette roller as the match ball and paper constructed into goal posts.
I scored the first goal,
He scored an equalizer in a dubious fashion upon which a fight ensued.
*Dirti dirti boy*
I called him, in a bid to annoy him.
*Atoile Oloorun, Smelly Bedwetter*
He replied with in perfect retort which drew tears in my eyes.
*Mi o ba e sere mo. Ma lo ile re*
*I am not playing with you again, start going to your house*
These words I uttered to him in whimpering sounds with a bruised pride.
*Eh ee. Me too, I will not give you my biscuit and zobo to be eating again in school*
He replied.
A childish grim determination spreading across his face as he packed up his bottle cork players.
On his way to the door,
Light returned,
And we both shouted for joy while racing for the parlor.
Within two minutes,
Two sworn enemies had become best friends again.
Oh how I wish the world worked that way.
Within such a world, jealousy and strife lose every meaning.
For a child's grudge never exceeds a time frame of five minutes.
In great joy, we finished watching Isakaba.
Two little boys especially delighted when Ebube and Nwoke put the charm on Ikuku stone and urinated upon it to diffuse his power.
With mixed feelings, we watched Who am I.
Two little boys who cried after watching Jackie Chan (their favourite 'Snake in the Eagle Shadow' actor) die at the ending.
With great ecstatic joy, we watched Toofan.
Too little boys who always enjoyed the Indian version of a revenge mission which always entailed one man killing up to a thousand men and also fighting a tiger in a cage with his bare hands.
With mild joy, we watched State of Emergency.
Two little boys not happy with the fact that Saint Obi foiled the mission of our favorite actor JT Tom West.
With a fulfilling joy, we watched 'Owo Blow'.
Two little boys happy with the fact that despite his poor and terrible beginnings, Ogogo became very rich even though it was gotten through theft.
Olumide brought 'Ololade Mr Money' movie along.
A film we could not watch.
For mama came back too early from work and loaded us with chores.
Thus preventing me from watching the most popular *Ogun owo* (blood money) film making waves at that period.
This is the bahd boy Kosi and this was how i spent my holiday.
#BASHORUN

okonta kosi